Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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