I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
