just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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