I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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