I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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