Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
