remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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