That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
