forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
