i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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