me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
