There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
