Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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