I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
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Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?