Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.