It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
