I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
