I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
