my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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