you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
