O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
