Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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