Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
