She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm like, not good at living.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
