At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
