I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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