Cold hands, warm shart.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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