If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
