good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
