why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
