we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
