adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
