her vagina looked like bernie madoff
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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