Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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