Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
