At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
