I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I skipped work to stalk him.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
