not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
