It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
