I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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