ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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