would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
