I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
