these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
