this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
