I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
is that a dick in a sweater?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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