You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
