lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
