And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
