He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My vagina is very pro this idea
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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