Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
