how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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