i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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