I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize