Little spoons don't ask big questions
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
