come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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