Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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