my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
