Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
