Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
