i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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