I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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