Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
