I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
