Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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