i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
