it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
