why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
