You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my sisters under your porch take her home
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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