He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
