dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
