im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
