i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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